The Mind of a Crafter

So, while I claim to be NO aficionado when it comes to crafts (see: I do dabble when my bank account and schedule permits it. I’ve started to notice that the same things go through my mind every time I attempt one of those, “fun and easy, twenty minute crafts for under a dollar!!” things I find on the motherload of all craft websites: Pinterest. I’m thinking I’m not the only one.

You start out by assembling the supplies. You make a list and go to your favorite craft supply store, be it Michael’s or Jo Ann’s (or maybe another one…if you’re a weirdo). You get to the store, park your car straight in the stall, get a cart with a big grin on your face, place your purse neatly in said cart, pull out list with wide, bright eyes, and set off. You get to the first aisle. “Ooooooooo this is perfect. I’ll get this. Wha- What is that random assortment of numbers there?” Than it hits you. “Dear sweet Jesus, that’s the price.” So you’ve officially hit problem #1. I don’t care how “cheap” this craft may be in the long run, chances are you’re going to spend half your life savings buying the supplies.

After that, you make it through the rest of the store slightly weary. You find a sale rack and do your best to buy EVERYTHING on your list from that one bin. As it is always a rather picked-through bin this doesn’t usually end in anything useful. Really, you just get a bunch of 50 cent tubes of glitter. Yeah, you’ll use that someday.

You get home and your excitement is renewed. It’s time to start CRAFTING. The very word sends shivers down your spine. You’ve been dreaming of this for days. You get to spend the whole afternoon creating something with your own two hands. What could be more blissful?

Five minutes in-“What the hell? Why is my (insert craft here) not working? Must need more glue.”

You add more glue.

Ten minutes in- “WHY??? Why can’t I just BE you, Martha?! I’ll add more glue.”

You add more glue.

“My back hurts. This is dumb. I hate my life.”

Now this is an interesting stage. At this point you’re fighting with yourself. On one hand, you’re about to grab a glass of wine, walk away from the havoc you have created in your home, and watch reruns of Grey’s Anatomy for the next four hours eating copious amounts of chocolate.

But, there’s still that part of you that says you’ve put in about five hours to this project, spent way too much money, and DAMMIT you must finish. I personally like to go somewhere in the middle. I tend to finish it really half-ass, clean up a little, then watch four hours of mindless television (or more likely, stare at Pinterest until my eyes start bleeding).

In the end, you have a so/so craft but dang do you feel accomplished. Now you can tell all your friends that you’re a crafter and tell them you made lemon sugar scrub like it was no biggy (true story).

If this is you, I congratulate you. You and I, friend, are a special breed of half-ass crafters and I say we be proud of it! No one says we have to be perfect, and honestly I swear half of the crafting blogs I see are run by huge corporations pretending to be stay-at-home moms (just throwing it out there).

If you have any stories that sound suspiciously close to the one I told, leave it in a comment. Otherwise, I’ll see you again soon!


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