(Just letting you know-this post is going to have bad words. Maybe a lot of bad words, I’m not sure. I’m sorry if it offends you but I happen to think it’s funny and say them in good fun. The story wouldn’t be the same without their use.)
The CW is one of those stations that turns out crappy tv shows like candy on Halloween. There’s no denying it. But I have to give them some commendation. They have figured out how to sprinkle “story-line crack” into everything they do. I try not to watch their shows because even though you’re watching it thinking, “This may be as bad as that one show Fox aired last year” you are instantly hooked and no amount of ANYTHING will lessen your need to see the next episode. That’s how I feel about Vampire Diaries.
Say what you will, I know. It’s a silly show for silly vampire-obsessed teenagers (I’m twenty so this clearly doesn’t apply to me). But I happened to turn it on one day and have watched every episode since. Their episodes are so full of crazy plot twists and character development beyond your wildest imagination that I am constantly shouting either profanity or random sounds. I can hear my roommate laughing sometimes through our shared bathroom because she hears me yell things and knows I’m watching it.
Over the course of one episode I’ll usually go through these emotions:
1) Well obviously he did it. Honestly, sometimes this show is a little too easy to predict.
2) WHAA?!?!?! Ho- But she- And he-
3) NOOOOOOO pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease don’t let him die.
4) WHAT THE FUCK WHY IS HE DEAD I HATE THIS SHOW. (All in one sentence, of course.)
5) So much hatred. I’m never watching this show again.
6) SHIT BALLS. What the fuck was that?
7) Oh dear sweet Jesus he’s ALIVE!
8) (3 seconds before credits role) WWWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT the fuck just happened????????
And then all I can do is wonder what’s going to happen next week. I’ve been sucked in to yet another episode. Touche, Vampire Diaries. Touche…