I’m Doing Something Productive With My Life!

Okay, I’ve undertaken a new hobby. Can I call it a hobby if I don’t like it yet? I’m going to call it a hobby.

RUNNING!

Crazy, I know. On an average day I like to spend at least 23 1/2 hours in bed.

But that’s over. I’m training for a half marathon with my friends Cheryl and Demi.

And being me, I made a blog about it. It’s going to chronicle our individual and group progress so you should totes check it out. We’re also trying to raise money for our registration. We’re doing our half marathon at Disney World, here in Orlando. The registration price is pretty high for this one because it benefits the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. Hear that? It’s a good cause!

So check out the blog (and check it often-we’re going to be posting a lot!) and donate if you feel so inclined.

I’ll leave you with a picture taken right after our first two mile run (which links to the new blog):

Tell me those red faces are not pure sexy...

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Dove, the all knowing morsel

So I went into work this morning at 8 AM, as I do every Monday. Getting some keys out of the chocolate drawer (yeah, my office has a chocolate drawer…don’t judge us), I grabbed a milk chocolate Dove square because what else would I do at 8 in the morning? I unwrapped the morsel and ate it as I read the little quip they put on the wrapper. Expecting something like, “Enjoy your moment” or, “Take some time for you today” I was happily surprised to see, “You look good in red.” Why is that awesome? Because I’m wearing a bright red shirt today. Booyah.

Dove, you officially just raised your status to clairvoyant. Well done.

And go me for looking so darn good in red.

Baby Meme Thursdays #2!

I actually remembered so the tradition lives on to see week two.

This week I picked the classic “success baby”. It’s pretty self explanatory. And it’s so easy to think of more quips for this awesome little guy it makes me feel like I, too, am funny (which isn’t true, it’s just a trick of the mind brought on by thinking of clever things I could say for this meme).

Here are some good ones:

This one is for my mom and sister (who still wear bibs when eating spaghetti).

 Happy Thursday! And to those of you that are in college as I am, good luck on finals! 🙂

Writing is an Act of Faith

Writing is an act of faith. When an accountant sits down at her desk to work, she does. When a bank teller sits at the bank counter to work, he does. When a writer sits down at their desk or lays in the grass or slouches in a crowded subway to write, they might.

Telling yourself to write something is about equivalent to telling yourself to lose five pounds in the sense that, while you know it’s really something you ought to do, there’s a sizable chance you’ll get distracted on Facebook.

And all hail the people that make writing their only source of income. You want to see an act of faith? Find a new writer who’s trying to get by on freelance jobs. THAT is an act of faith. That requires trusting the muse that sits over your shoulder enough to put the fate of your rent and the contents of your ever-emptying fridge into their hands.

To write with feeling and passion is an art, as well as a craft. No matter how much schooling your brain receives, your writing ultimately depends on if you were meant to write.  Accountants are not born accountants, but writers are born writers. To trust in that requires an act of faith so large it really just doesn’t fit on a page.

So when you feel that tingly sensation in your soul to spread your thoughts using the written word, think to yourself, “Am I ready to take that leap of faith?”

Crayon Wreath Tutorial

Being that two out of the five total people in my immediate family are elementary teachers, seeing cute teacher crafts on Pinterest gets me all a-twitter. I’ve seen crayon wreaths a few times and as I happen to love wreaths (and now love making them too) I got too excited not to make one. My sister is about to end her maternity leave so I figured this would be a fun time to give it to her (really, any excuse would have worked).

For this you’ll need:

click to enlarge

Center the smaller hoop inside the larger. When I did this, I only used the inner hoop from each one to make it less clunky, but I think I would recommend using the whole hoop.

IMPORTANT! Lay out all the crayons before you start gluing. It will take you a bit longer but trust me, it’s worth it. They probably won’t fit exactly how you think they will in the beginning. Other than that, it’s as simple as gluing them down.

I ran a ribbon through the hoop where I wanted my top to be  and hot glued a bow on the front. (I used this trick to tie the bow.)

That’s it! You’ve now got a crayon wreath. Be gentle with it until it’s hung up, as crayons will come loose. All you have to do is glue them back into place but it can still become a pain if you’re not careful.

If you liked this tutorial or have any questions, let me know!

Baby Meme Thursdays

I’ve been on a baby meme kick lately. It started with a picture of my nephew that got turned into a meme a few days ago. It’s like dance fever. You just can’t fight it.

So I’m proposing a new “thing”. BABY MEME THURSDAYS!

I’m going to start off with this GOLD my brother sent me.

Happy Thursday, people.

As always, the picture is linked to where I got it from. Got to give creds dude.

A Letter to my Future Daughter

Dear Daughter,

I want to let you in on a few secrets I have tucked away. This way, if I forget to tell you them or you forget to remember them you’ll always have them written down. You can also use this as tangible proof that at one point in my life (never mind that it’s before I became a parent) I was a cool mom.

Don’t forget that I’m only human. You know how I always tell you that it’s okay to make mistakes? Moms make them, too. And when I tell you to do something and you ask, “Why?” and I say, “Because I said so,” just do it. I don’t care if you think it’s fair or not. No matter what I’ve ever said throughout my life, I paid my dues to my parents and you’ll pay yours. Just wait until you’re a parent. You’ll do it, too, I’m sure.

I will always be a shoulder to cry on and a friend to confide in. I know sometimes you may not want to talk to your mom about stuff, but my door is always open (unless it’s closed, then knock). Remember that I was your age once, too. I know I grew up in the stone age and things are soooooo different now, but bear with me. I’m sure the mechanics of childhood are the same.

When your heart is broken for the first time, feel the pain but don’t dwell. Everyone has to have the one boy or girl that cuts them deep. If you  don’t have them, you’ll never learn to appreciate the successful relationships in your life. But even though you shouldn’t forget them, DON’T go back to them. Come now…mama didn’t raise no fool. I don’t care how much they claim to have changed, if it didn’t work the first time there’s about a 94% chance that it won’t work out the second time around. Would you bet on those odds?

When you decide you want a tattoo on your 18th birthday, do it the right way. No child of mine is going to a “friends” house because he does really good work and is cheap. Little secret for you–that means they suck. And tell me before you get it. Tell me what you’re getting permanently inked onto your body. Trust me, it’s better if I know before it happens.

Be forewarned, if/when you go through your teen rebellious stage you had best watch your beautiful mouth. I know how it feels, I was there. I also know that no daughter of mine is going to sass me and get away with it. So when we get to that point just be civil. I’ll do the same. And when you get past it, we can be friends again.

The first time you call yourself fat, Daughter, bite your tongue. I’ve never even seen you and I know it’s not true. Whatever piece of flesh you’re nervously pinching while looking in the mirror is supposed to be there. No one else in the world thinks you are fat. Those girls at school with the beyond perfect bodies (and most likely awesome tans, sorry I passed you the pale gene) are A) not that perfect on the inside guaranteed and B) not going to have that body forever. Everyone has baggage they carry around. Some people carry it on their hips and some people carry it on the inside. Most people have a little bit of both. Personally, I like the one on the hips better. That can be taken care of with a little exercise. The weight on the inside is a lot harder to get rid of.

Remember your innocence and please cling on to the beauty of a real childhood. Being able to drive and having a job and getting to stay up as late as you want comes with a heavy price tag. Enjoy what you have for as long as you can.

Most important, Daughter, is that you never, ever forget that I love, I love, I love you.

From the depths of my bottomless soul–I mean heart,

Your Future Mother

BABY MEMEZ

My nephew happens to be very photogenic. And what better way to exploit that than to make a meme? So behold:

NO NONSENSE BABY

And this is for those of you that think a little profanity is funny:

And to finish off this amazing post I’m going to share my FAVORITE baby meme. Whoever this child is, he’s going to grow up to be amazing:

Situations I Love

This just makes my day (always through texts, of course)-

Anonymous Person: Hey, can I borrow/use/eat your _______?

Me: NOOOOOOOO! OMG I’m saving that/I need that/that was my great-grandmothers and her dying wish was that I keep it forever!

AP: Oh…I thought you’d say yes so I already borrowed/used/ate it. :/

Why? Why would you go through the pretense of asking? It’s like a fake question. If there’s any injustice in the world I will not tolerate it’s fake questions! They make me feel like this:

So please, for the love of all things holy, when you ask a question WAIT FOR A RESPONSE. Otherwise, the question is void and you’re a douche.