This just makes my day (always through texts, of course)-
Anonymous Person: Hey, can I borrow/use/eat your _______?
Me: NOOOOOOOO! OMG I’m saving that/I need that/that was my great-grandmothers and her dying wish was that I keep it forever!
AP: Oh…I thought you’d say yes so I already borrowed/used/ate it.
Why? Why would you go through the pretense of asking? It’s like a fake question. If there’s any injustice in the world I will not tolerate it’s fake questions! They make me feel like this:
So please, for the love of all things holy, when you ask a question WAIT FOR A RESPONSE. Otherwise, the question is void and you’re a douche.