Oprah has just released her list of favorite things for 2013 and under each product was a quote from her. Some of the quotes explained what the product was while others told just why it was she loved this product so much. After perusing the list I was left with the feeling that A) I want everything on that stupid list and B) Oprah doesn’t know much about how other people live these days. Not hating, just observing. I compiled a list of things on the list that made me realize this truth.
Reasons that we know Oprah means well but is actually 100% out of touch with the real world:
- Her body wash costs $75 (for 6.8fl oz).
- She has a $400 tablet that is solely used for cooking. All it has on it are recipes. I’m pretty sure they make books that do that. Like just regular books.
- She has a $400 pillow with her dogs face on it. But I mean, this one is kiiiiind of worth it. The dogs face is printed on Belgian linen so…
- She said this, “What do you get for the dog who has everything?” That’s only a problem for you, Oprah. Most people’s dogs just about die/pee any time you give them a toy. Or a bone. Or a friendly glance. Or just a glance.
- All of her knives are handmade in Italy, created by a single artisan. I don’t mean like all the knives in her knife block. I mean just the regular ones that you cut your chicken with. Does Oprah eat chicken? Chicken seems really middle class to me for some reason.
- Oprah considers earrings that are $220 awesome because “[t]hey look much more expensive than they actually are.” Scoreeeeee
- Oprah’s jewelry box costs $300. My jewelry box? A bowl.
- Oprah has a stationary set that costs $300. She likes stationary because, “E-mails are incredibly convenient, but they’ll never replace the real thing.” Now, I tend to agree with that. But my handwritten letters tend more to be written on notebook paper so…yeah.
- Oprah said this: “Don’t you just hate when you’re at a dinner party and[…].” Doesn’t even matter what came next.
- One of Oprah’s favorite things is a $100 mediation CD. Nothing really remarkable there. Except that it’s HER OWN meditation CD. Apparently even Oprah can’t resist plugging her own stuff. Respect.
Oprah seems like a cool enough lady and if she was offering me anything (and I mean anything) off that list I’d be super pumped but come on…$75 for body wash? It takes a gargantuan mental struggle and five minutes in the soap aisle at the grocery store to decide if I should splurge and get Dove or just cheap out and get Dial. I usually get the Dial.
Just in case you’d like to see the list for yourself and revel in all the stuff you can’t afford: look it over here.