Oprah’s List of Her Fave Things Is Out! Let’s All Revel In Our Inability To Buy Any of It!

Oprah has just released her list of favorite things for 2013 and under each product was a quote from her. Some of the quotes explained what the product was while others told just why it was she loved this product so much. After perusing the list I was left with the feeling that A) I want everything on that stupid list and B) Oprah doesn’t know much about how other people live these days. Not hating, just observing. I compiled a list of things on the list that made me realize this truth.

Reasons that we know Oprah means well but is actually 100% out of touch with the real world:

  1. Her body wash costs $75 (for 6.8fl oz).
  2. She has a $400 tablet that is solely used for cooking. All it has on it are recipes. I’m pretty sure they make books that do that. Like just regular books.
  3. She has a $400 pillow with her dogs face on it. But I mean, this one is kiiiiind of worth it. The dogs face is printed on Belgian linen so…
  4. She said this, “What do you get for the dog who has everything?” That’s only a problem for you, Oprah. Most people’s dogs just about die/pee any time you give them a toy. Or a bone. Or a friendly glance. Or just a glance.
  5. All of her knives are handmade in Italy, created by a single artisan. I don’t mean like all the knives in her knife block. I mean just the regular ones that you cut your chicken with. Does Oprah eat chicken? Chicken seems really middle class to me for some reason.
  6. Oprah considers earrings that are $220 awesome because “[t]hey look much more expensive than they actually are.” Scoreeeeee
  7. Oprah’s jewelry box costs $300. My jewelry box? A bowl.
  8. Oprah has a stationary set that costs $300. She likes stationary because, “E-mails are incredibly convenient, but they’ll never replace the real thing.” Now, I tend to agree with that. But my handwritten letters tend more to be written on notebook paper so…yeah.
  9. Oprah said this: “Don’t you just hate when you’re at a dinner party and[…].” Doesn’t even matter what came next.
  10. One of Oprah’s favorite things is a $100 mediation CD. Nothing really remarkable there. Except that it’s HER OWN meditation CD. Apparently even Oprah can’t resist plugging her own stuff. Respect.

Oprah seems like a cool enough lady and if she was offering me anything (and I mean anything) off that list I’d be super pumped but come on…$75 for body wash? It takes a gargantuan mental struggle and five minutes in the soap aisle at the grocery store to decide if I should splurge and get Dove or just cheap out and get Dial. I usually get the Dial.

Just in case you’d like to see the list for yourself and revel in all the stuff you can’t afford: look it over here.

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